Desktop Diaries: Del Water Gap
Interview & Photos by Athena Merry, Collages by Jade
these interviews were conducted over zoom + email between april and july of 2020. the answers are mostly unedited, offering an honest insight into the headspace of various bands/musicians across the world during these months.
you can read more desktop diaries here.
Del Water Gap
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How have you been, really?
I’ve been well I suppose. March through June really shredded me. I had a quarantine birthday in April, back before it was apparent that everyone would have a quarantine birthday eventually. I was staying up all night, making dinner at midnight or so. Waking up every day and feeling pretty cynical. Not taking particularly good care of myself. Things have really settled since then - I feel like I’m learning how to be an adult in this choked version of our world. I moved to LA in August, I’ve been writing and drawing and taking a lot of photos. I live with a cat named Pip. She loves big cardboard boxes.
How has quarantine affected the way you create? Are there any changes that surprised you? Anything that’s remained the same
I don’t think I really touched an instrument for six weeks or so. I was holed up in rural Maine stewing in all the existential dread and I just couldn’t sit still long enough to create. I lost a couple tours and a member of my team and finally just turned away from creating all together and got really internal for some time. I got into running and coloring. I started a film club with my grandma. She lives in Manhattan and has been more or less alone through all of this nonsense, so it has been nice to see her face every week on Zoom. We’ve probably watched thirty or so films since March. As I’ve come back to creating, I’ve found that I’m a lot more confident in my self sufficiency. I’ve been starting records and seeing them through to completion on my own. I may have gotten better at my job but the real shift feels psychological.
Where have you been finding inspiration in isolation? And expanding on that, what’s the most random thing that has inspired you?
I’ve started really listening to music again for the first time in years, so I’m finding inspiration there. Lots of instrumental music. Anne Laplantine, Mid-Air Thief, some Miles Davis. My cousin showed me Dmitri Shostakovich. I’m inspired by taking photos of people I love. I’ve been reading a hell of a lot again, and that has kept my brain from fully desiccating. I just started Pollan’s “How To Change Your Mind”. I took a drive through the desert last weekend - slept three hours, shot a video in Joshua Tree and then took off to San Francisco. Came back to LA via Big Sur. That was inspiring
What does your typical day look like now?
I try and get up as early as I can. I’m an inconsistent sleeper, so it’s not always easy. My window faces right out to a lemon tree that's full of birds in the morning, so they help me get up. Or Pip walks on my face. I have some coffee and try to journal and then I’m working on music. See someone when the sun starts going down? A lot of my favorite people are still on the east coast so it can be hard to catch them if I work too late
Have you picked up any new habits? (conscious or unconscious)
Smoking cigarettes and drinking rooibos with honey and whole milk
What do you find important right now? This can be as broad and world-effecting or as small and self-focused as you want.
I really want people to vote. I think we can get the Cheeto out of office if enough of us show up and our ballots make it in on time. I want to get through November and have a future to look forward to. I've been so moved to see so many of my friends and peers using their platforms for change these past few months. If we all keep it up we'll keep each other from getting tired.
As a musician unable to play live shows - how do you find yourself connecting with fans, now? How do you think this is impacting our experience of and relationship with music?
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I would chop off a toe to go on tour. I've always been really close with my fans so this time has been nice for use. I write letters and postcards to people who buy my merch. I try to return the favor if someone sends me something in the mail. My mom is managing my PO Box back on the East Coast so it's been funny to see what shows up via confused texts from her ("Someone sent you... an oil painting...?"). I also started a fan cult on Instagram - come join my megachurch, all are welcome. Neigh.
What was the last selfish thing you did?
I was in San Francisco last weekend and a seagull wanted a bite of my pizza and I said no.
Tell us about the last time you truly felt free.
In December I went to Mexico with a group of creative folks. We hiked through the desert a few hours to a hot spring and took all of our clothes off and splashed around in the dark. We lived in a couple houses on the beach and drank tequila on horseback and took photos. It was a different world then!!! I haven’t been around a group like that in a while. We went in mostly strangers to each other but came out buddie
What’s something you’re proud of at the moment?
I’m so proud of my new music. I made a song called “Sorry I Am” that’s coming out next month. I wrote and produced it by myself in my room in LA. I feel 15 feet tall when I hear it.
What long term effects do you think this experience will have on you moving forward?
I think I’ve become much more protective of my bandwidth. I’m less willing to humor toxic people. I’m really careful about who I let into my creative and professional space. I’m seeking external validation much less, and that feels healthy.
What’s one thing you wish you would have done more of? One thing you will do more of after the pandemic has ended?
This time has allowed me to resign a bit more to that which I cannot control. I used to spend so much time worrying about whether or not certain dreams or fears of mine would come to pass. COVID changed the fabric of our society so swiftly and deftly, and changed my life and my career with it. None of us could've seen it coming, and the sheer absurdity of it feels unprecedented. So I guess there’s a lesson there. I hope to continue to focus on my health and my relationships and my art and let the rest unfold how it will.
